Shine on you crazy diamond
by Lothiriel84
Summary: The many facets to Patrick Jane's personality - past, present and future. - Title from the namesake song by Pink Floyd.
1. Boy wonder

**Boy wonder**

He constantly has to prove himself – show that he's the smartest person in the room.

His father demands this. As if he's not his son, but just a tool he would readily drop when it turns out to be of no more use.

(Well, he only threatens to do that – he'd never kill the goose that lays the golden egg, that's for sure.)

The single person that doesn't see him either as the boy wonder or a source of money is _her_.

When he's with Angela he's just Patrick.

That's why he never reads her. They just sneak somewhere quiet and exchange frantic kisses until both of them are completely breathless.

She loves him. Loves him for his own sake – no matter how good a performer he is, or whatever else.

Someday she'll be his and his only.

In the meanwhile Patrick contents himself with dreaming about their future together.


	2. Fake psychic

**Fake psychic **

He actually enjoys conning rich people. Especially bored and discontented women – they're the easiest mark of all.

So he tells them exactly what they want to hear, and they don't even blink at the huge sums he requires for his services.

He's not ashamed of what he does. Not in the least.

There will always be someone to steal money from gullible people. It's the way of the world.

His years at the carnival have taught him that.

Now he can give his family the kind of life he's dreamt about for so long.

A beautiful house in Malibu, a collection of classic cars, expensive clothes for Angela, piano lessons for Charlotte.

(His little girl is quite a child prodigy, and he's absolutely proud of her. She's the best thing that ever happened in his whole life.)

If all it takes to get those things are some well-placed lies – well, lie he will.

What's the harm in that after all?


	3. Grieving widower

**Grieving widower**

Each breath is more painful than the one before.

He's lost them. He's lost them, and it's his fault alone.

How is he supposed to go on living without his precious angels beside him?

The single thing that drives him is revenge. The man who did such a thing has to die – in the same slow, painful way his wife and daughter were killed.

He longs to see the fear in his eyes. He really does.

Of course he has to conceal his darkest feelings in order to achieve this goal.

So he wears the mask of a jester, teases and jokes until everybody around him almost forgets about his loss. About the fact that he's a grieving widower and a bereaved father – the pale ghost of his previous self.

(Maybe there's just a woman who doesn't get fooled by his act – her jade green eyes can see right through him sometimes.)

The wedding band he's still wearing is the constant reminder both of his guilt and his purpose.

He's quite sure that his burden of guilt will never subside, no matter how sweet revenge can be. Self-inflicted pain is the least he deserves anyway.


	4. Consultant

**Consultant**

He can't help smiling whenever Lisbon yells at him.

It's the most endearing thing about her. She always scolds him for his childish, reckless behavior – and that only means she actually _cares_ for him.

Sensible, reliable agent Teresa Lisbon has chosen the likes of him as her best friend.

His inner child is really flattered about this. After all he's been through, he's learned to appreciate the small things he gets along the way.

Now his job at the CBI isn't only about chasing Red John – nor the fun of trying his own sharp observation skills.

He enjoys spending his time with Lisbon. Their usual banter, the rare occasions in which he's able to make her smile.

(It's not that he doesn't like the rest of the team as well. Lisbon is just _different_, that's all.)

Red John will always be the crucial issue of course. However, that has nothing to do with how much their friendship matters to him.

He just hopes he won't have to choose between those two things someday.


	5. Family man

**Family man**

The toddler squeals in delight as he paddles along the seashore – his tiny hand clutching his father's larger one.

Jane smiles softly. His son resembles Charlotte so much – and yet he's so very different from her.

They share the same dazzling grin, the same happy-go-lucky attitude.

Apart from that, David is pretty much a carbon copy of his own mother. His dark hair, the greenish shade of blue of his eyes – or is it a bluish shade of green? It doesn't really matter anyway.

Suddenly Jane scoops up his child and holds him against his chest. He loves David so much it almost hurts.

His beloved son is his sole reason for living now.

Well, him and the mother of his child as well.

Teresa welcomes him with a soft kiss as he joins her and sits down beside her on the warm sand.

They both smile at David's fascination with almost everything around him. He takes a handful of sand and watches it slipping through his slender fingers – then he wriggles his toes as the waves gently lap his small feet.

Life is absolutely wonderful right now.

* * *

_Author's note: for those who don't know it yet, the name "David" means "beloved"..._


End file.
